179 Pennies for some Red Lipstick

Monday morning and as per usual I'm running around like a headless chicken. I know at some point, this story gets old but bear with me because today there's actually a point to this story.

Anyway, where was I? Yes, headless chicken running. I don't know what came over me today but I decided to go all out. I straightened my hair, touseled in some Morrocan Oil and put on Friday morning make-up. Friday morning make-up is solely reserved for Friday (morning), but in my effort to inject some feel-goodness into my Monday morning, I said what the hell and went to town with it. The problem with having a beauty regime in the morning is that you have no time to do other things. Like put on your monster winter boots and run out the door. But boy! do you ever look and feel like a million bucks!

I get to Starbucks at 6:48am. My bus leaves in 7 minutes but I'm not sweatin' it this time because I look hot and the bus probably won't leave for about another 12 minutes anyway. The lady in front of me had to pay for her coffee. I wait patiently. 2 minutes and she's still paying for her coffee. I then realise with sick horror that she's off her rocker and is paying for her coffee in pennies!! IN PENNIES!! SERIOUSLY?! $1.79 IN PENNIES! WTF!

Several other people gathered in line behind me and this crazy woman's still counting her money. I looked at my watch. 6:51am. I'm not going to make my bus. Dear Lord, I'm not making this bus. The woman finally counted her change and gave it to the Starbucks girl...WHO THEN PROCEEDS TO COUNT THE PENNIES HERSELF! Excuse me while I go and repeatedly bang my head against a wall. Was she concerned that the crazy woman had given her a penny short??

I finally get my coffee and jet. And course, half my coffee is all over me. I make it to the bus loop and I see my beloved 77 waiting patiently for me in its spot. Thank you Jesus! But then I realised with dread that my bus pass was in my other jacket pocket! NOOOOO!! I ran to the ticket booth to buy a ticket and by the time I had done that, I caught the last glimpse of the 77 leaving the bus loop.

I stood there forlornly, telling God I hated crazy penny lady and the starbucks girl and the fact that I reeked of coffee. But really, it was my fault. If I hadn't been so damn VAIN this morning, I would have been on that bus.

Normally, my story would end here with some sort of lame sentence on how you have to see the silver lining and all that jizz-jazz. But today, the story goes on...

For reasons I'm not prepared to disclose, the continuation of this story will be left as a suspensful cliff hanger. If you would like to know the continuation and end of this story you may email me to recieve the full manuscript for a minimal fee of a grande Starbucks coffee (which is the only mode of payment for this reviting tale). I guarantee it will be well worth your $2.67 because who doesn't want to hear a story involving a hot guy and a MAJOR lapse in professionalism (is that a word?) on my part. Ha.

Just dont pay for it in pennies.

Verdict: Addiction

Contrary to the title of this blog and the numerous references to Starbucks, I actually don't drink that stuff too often. Twice a week at the most...and even then, the second was probably beacuse I was having a super bad day (read: Wackjob Wednesdays)

But Monday mornings, by general rule is Starbucks day. If there is any day where you need a pickmeup, I can't think of anything better than the begining of your inevitably crappy work week. This Monday was no exception. However, this morning was the epitome of risky...all for that vile cup of caffeine.

For those of you who don't know me (well), I'm not much of a risk taker. I consider jay walking living on the edge. Kiddy rollercoasters almost make me vomit. You get the idea. Today though, I engaged in some riske happenings. I woke up on time. But I procrastinated like a college kid on facebook the night before an essay deadline (I speak from experience). So here was the timeline:

6:30am: Ready to leave home

6:31am: Couldnt find my keys. Found them a minute later. They were in my hands.

6:35am: Couldnt find one sock. Cursed a little. Found it in my roomates boot.

6:41am: Out the door running, jay walking on all the streets in my way. I'm so bad.

6:44am: I reach Starbuck, pay for my poison. I then proceed to lid up and jet. It is then that I realise that some FOOL switched all the lids. I couldnt find a single lid for my tall cup of joe.

6:52am: I reach Finch Station, half running trying not to spill when some nice old lady held the door open for me!!!

I'm supposed to be opening doors for nice old ladies!!! What just went wrong with the world?? I got over it 2 seconds later though. Its 6:55 on a monday morning! We're all in this together! We all open doors for each other! God bless us all!

6:57am: I think I have a heart attack while power walking to catch my 6:55am bus. I make it just as he is about to pull away. I almost cry and mentally scold myself for almost missing my bus.... or worse still spilling my coffee.

The real icing on the cake was when I got into the bus, EVERYONE had a Timmy's coffee in their hand. I took my usual seat embarrassed. I was a Starbucks girl who almost had heart failiure on a Tim Horton's bus. If I just bought myself a nice humble cup of Timmy's, none of this would have happened.

The question is, would I do this crazy nonsense again? The answer is what made me believe that I was barely a few weeks away from crossing over to the land of Starbucks junkies.

Well, at least theres coffee on the other side.