77 Politics

Obey the rules of the road or else...

It has been 8 months now since I have been taking the York Regional Transit #77. Although, the YRT service is nothing great to write home about, I have to say this giant beast of metallic junk is the only means of connecting me to my source of income. I will not bore you to a temporary comatose, but I've had my fair share of drama including been pushed around, snarled at (yes, snarled), my stuff picked up and thrown on me and having drivers heartlessly drive away while I helplessly watch from across the street waiting for the pedestrian crossing.

Although 8 months of daily commuting hardly earns me any street cred points, I have made some curious observations and tricks to dealing with the joyness that is taking the bus.

1) It can be safetly assumed that in Toronto and the GTA, no one has the desire to sit next to you or talk to you or anyone else on a mode of public transit. There are a wide array of activities that the average Torontonian would rather do than sit beside you, much less speak to you. Some examples of these activities include plugging their ears into their iPods, picking their nose, testing every single one of their cellphone ringtones, and staring aimlessly outside the window. Some exceptions to this rule are if you're exceptionally good looking, or if they're a Jehovah's Witness.

2) In the unfortunate event that you are sitting next to someone who has bad breath, is crazy or a nasty combination of both, you may do any of the above listed activities of the unfriendly Torontonian commuter. If you're not into that you may use some common phrases that are useful such as: "No, I don't want to tell you where I live. Would you like a mint instead?" or "No, I'm not interested in reading the Book of Mormon. Would you like a mint instead?". My personal favorite is to just pretend you're dead.

3) In the event of a rare treat that a hot guy gets on the bus, please close your mouth and try to be discreet with the stare. Remember that creepy old geezer with bad breath who tried to ask you where you live and then tried to convert you to a Jehovah's Witness and wouldn't take dead for an answer? You're not him, but oogling is the first step towards it.

4) Please offer your seat to an eldery man or woman. I understand that many people are jaded, 'hurt-before-by-bus-politics' commuters but good manners always go a long way. So does good karma.

5) The best way to have two seats to yourself (one for you and one for your purse/ego) is to sit on the aisle seat with your purse/ego dropped on the window seat. This is a concept that thrives on the fake politeness/ pushover-ness(I know that's not a word) of Torontonians. Most people would rather stand than ask you to move your shit so they can have a seat. Every so often though, you will have the non-pushover commuter who will sit on YOU if he can't find an empty seat. True story.

6) Don't have lengthy coversations with the driver about spending your weekend buying clothes for your dog. This will cause him to miss stops and piss the toffees off of a bus load of cranky people. True story again.

7) If you got delayed at Starbucks because the lunatic in front of you decided to pay for her coffee in pennies, it's not a good idea to run like a cat on hot bricks with scalding coffee to catch your bus. This will cause your clothes to consume more coffee than you do, you will reek of coffee and you will look like an idiot. Accept defeat with dignity and an intact coffee cup.

8) It is perfectly okay to smile and make small talk with your everyday fellow commuters. In fact, make an effort to do so. However, one can draw the line when the over-friendly bus idiot moves your stuff around and cockblocks you from the bus cutie.

9) Find things that will make your long morning commutes enjoyable. Personally, I like to read, listen to music, talk to God, do the crossword and twidle my thumbs. In really hectic times, if you really can't find anything to keep you occupied, stare at a picture of Jake Gyllenhal.

10) Try to thank your driver after you have arrived at your destination. Unless you've been in a terrible accident, in which case, thank God you're not in the hospital busy being a vegetable.

And that folks is my 2 cents on the public transit. You may pay an additional $2.98 to experience it for yourself.

Do I look fat in that shirt?

Summer is officially in! As are my earth-shattering inspirations to blog. Better recognised as the end of my shameless laziness.

Today was so hot that even a desert girl like me will admit that air conditioning wouldn't have been the worst idea. With all the fabulous things that come with summer (read: fun, flip flops, freezies and fudge icecream), I been scouring the stores for some sassy summer shirts and skirts.Vintage is my new favorite flavour of the season. Tout Toronto will soon be tooting with posts about my escapades to find the perfect vintage finds. Soon as I manage to get off my lazy ass and tout away that is.
Anyway, the very reliable Torontonian weather forecasters have prediced a hot summer this year and with that segway, I will get on with the actual point of this post. Some old trends with a new twist for a hot summer. All of these reflect my own personal style and opinion. I am not a fashion guru. Please do not send me angry emails and crazed wall pasts on facebook telling me of how you wore your grandma's 70's flower-power-polka-dotted, obnoxiously large shoulder-padded blouse with a bedsheet-like hippie skirt you rescued from Kensington Market to a hot date who ran away from you with fear and trembling (and lets face it, a little awe) at the sight of you. If you do however, send me a photo and I will post it on my what-not-to-wear segment. Just kidding. I'm sure you looked lovely. That been said, here are a few trends that having been catching my fancy lately.

Shoulder pads: I know what you're thinking. You don't want to wear your mother's 80's power shirts while trying to flirt with that hottie in the ice-cream aisle. Understandable and even sensible. I do however, truly believe there is a way of dressing up shoulder padded garbs without becoming your mother. For example, a shoulder padded blazer. Granted, blazers are not the best idea for 28 degree C weather. Neither are they the best idea for bigger girls who have no need of a cure for droopy shoulders. But they're hot. As in trendy. And not as in emitting heat rays.
For example:
As cool as this looks, please do not wear this unless you are a runway model, have an overflowing cup of confidence and cool, a meatless petite Korean girl, or Rhianna

If you are one of the above four, I'm already jealous that you can rock that without looking like an idiot.




Scarves: Scarves are not new fashion discoveries. They are ageless. However, I newly discovered the genius of scarves when I bought one for a dollar at some random scarf stand on the street. Scarves are an inexpensive way (I say inexpensive only if you do not buy your scarves at Prada) to brighten up one of those bland colour shirts you bought at Bluenotes on sale for $5.00. Vintage stores have tons of these, and if you're willing to shop around, you will find some beautiful scarves for even less. Once again, scarves in the sweltering heat, not the greatest idea. But they are oh so pretty...and perfect for those summer days at work.

Patterns and polka dots: I love patterned blouses. Although, I've been told patterns are not for everybody and their grandmother. Or maybe they're just for their grandmother. But to me, nothing welcomes in the season of sunshine like a summery cotton print. As for polka dots, they've always been in style whether you would like to admit it or not. Use discretion with this one though. If prints scare you, try testing out pieces that are not overwhelmingly patterny. However, if prints, patterns or polka dots are really not your glass of iced tea, move on to the purses.

Vintage purses: I have nothing more to say. Its a purse. You should invest in them whether vintage or otherwise.

Vintage shopping is a bit of a pain in the butt. (Literally, all that walking takes its toll) It's a lot of searching and bargaining. Not to mention, you're not always lucky to find stuff in your size, appropriateness of shoulder pad size and design. But those are the best parts too. Hours of walking looking for that perfect scarf to go with a perfect shoulder padded blazer to be rewarded with a bargain deal of a fabulous purse instead. Or bear with me here...actually having your mind opened up to possibilties of wearing something or at least trying out something you wouldn't normally wear. That's the amazing thing about bargain shopping. Its the thrill of finding cute little shirts and trying to create outfits in your head that makes vintage shopping the flavor of the summer. So go ahead. Shop. Create. And have fun putting together cool outfits this summer.

Also, I would like to add: Combining all of your outfits created by your artistic genius with a cute pair of flats and a tall green tea ice tea from Starbucks is optional. (although very much recommended.)

Happy Shopping! And stay tuned to Tout Toronto for some cool vintage stores I discovered!

Back to the Basics

It's Terrible Tuesday. The morning starts in a daze. You feel like you're hungover but you weren't drinking. You scream at your body to keep moving against its will. You almost fall asleep (and fall down) trying to dress up.

Usually this bout of anxiety is completely unwarranted and the day is never as bad as I make it out to be. But Tuesdays. Oh boy! Tuesdays by far top up any horrifying premonition I come up with in the morning.

Today was no exception. I do understand that its really not fair bitching out about my bad days to you. I'm sure you have bigger fish to fry (mmmm..fish). Lately, a lot of people have retorted "Well, I'm sure its not that bad. Remember Karen, you're lucky to have a job".

That's true. I'm lucky to have a job.

I won't bitch or moan about having a bad day. I'll leave that to those who have jobs where they: a) are treated like shit by their clients b) deal with shit from their co-workers and c) feel like shit at the end of the day after going through all that.

God knows they need to air out their grievances with life a hell of a lot more than I do. Remember though, they are lucky to have a job.

But its funny how God finds way to calm your soul with things that don't necessarily involve someone else's kind listening ear. It involves your own. On days like today, I feel like nothing can change how bad I feel. But I forget about things that can make it better. I read through my previous post on this blog and I seemed to have forgotten the basic S's of bandaging a bad day: Starbucks, Sexy Singers and Sleep.

Phase One: On my way from work, I stopped by the Starbucks around the corner and a got myself a latte. Another S thats good for bad days is sunshine and we've had a lot of that to go around. The latte was an instant quick fix and I wondered why I stopped my Starbucks rituals. To save it for days like this, Karen.

Phase Two: I got home and tried of think of something to listen to instead of making someone else listen to me. And I knew in a instant what it was. I went on YouTube. They say its good to be in love. It brightens up your day and puts a smile on your face, makes your burden lighter and all those other stupid cliches.

What can I say? I'm in love with Jamie Cullum. Only he could write a song that is a completely accurate description of how I feel. I think maybe the best way to calm down from your problems is to hear someone else have the same problem. I have come to this realisation that bad days don't have a cure. Maybe, sometimes you can't even make them better. You just let it go and hope the next day, you're not going to come home and make your poor blogosphere readers read another weepy post about your day.

And that leads me to Phase Three. My favorite part of this three part Bad Day Emergency Kit. Yes, folks...Its 7:36pm and I'm going to turn in for the night. The thought of curling in my bed right now almost makes this whole day worth it.

Before I leave though, I would like to remind you that the new blog is fully up and running. It is called Tout Toronto and if you're looking for something a little more happier to read tonight, check it out. Here's the link:

http://www.touttoronto.blogspot.com/

Red wine and Ambien

I went in to work on Family Day today. And as expected, most of the senior citizen patient clientele asked me how my weekend went hoping for a nice, juicy Valentine's day story of how I spent the weekend away with my fabulously rich and gorgeous new boyfriend.

If you are curious too, which I'm pretty sure you're not, lets just put it this way:

I did NOT spend Valentine's day "filling up my day with Coldplay songs and that movie called The Notebook...and 500 days of Summer".

In short, I had one of those weekends that leave you feeling like you're walking on a cloud for the rest of the week. Okay, maybe just for the Monday...but I'll take it.

Here's a little photo show:

Morning:

I went to visit an old Friend.

Afternoon:
Lunch with Ms. Vogue at La Vecchia. Rizzoto and a glass of Valpolicella. La Vecchia claimed to have the best tiramisu in the City of Toronto. Bold statement for a cutesy little Italian restuarant.

The tiramisu was hoovered up in a total of 15.3 seconds. It could have been done in 5 but it would have been a terrible crime not to taste it before inhaling it.

I had the best tiramisu in the city of Toronto and the classiest date to date.

Evening AND Night:
"And this is not to say,

There'll never come a day,

I'll take my chances and start again.

And when I look behind, on all my younger times,

I'll have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong"

Nothing like listening to my everyday commute companion LIVE!

ALL DAY:
And no good day in life can ever be complete without joyness in a cup.

I'd like to see you top that!

40 days and 40 nights

The season of Lent is fast approaching. For most Catholics it is a time of groaning and wondering if it is really necessary or practical to abstain from meat on Fridays.

For most practicing Catholics, it is a time of pulling teeth negotiating and cutting deals with God about what they will be giving up for 40 days and 40 nights. I have been pulling teeth for a while now (not literally) trying to convince Jesus that maybe this year, I should be exempt from giving up stuff.

My reason (excuse)? I have already given up my sanity to the rehabilitation industry to help spoilt, rich, ungrateful people enhance their already pretty good quality of life. Isn't that enough? I mean, if you really think about it, I have been in the Lenten season for the past 11 months now. I could happily live with this notion while avoiding every 'what-are-you-giving-up-for-lent' conversation in my midst. Alas, I have a conscience that will probably kill me before I try to con it into agreeing to this proposterous idea.

And so to keep my conscience happy (read: choking me to death with guilt) I have listed some past possible potentials to give up for Lent:

Idea #1: Facebook

The idea of giving up Facebook for lent is age-old and only comes second to giving up meat. I have read countless articles praising people who decided to take on this seemingly impossible sacrifice and have even given it up myself for a couple of lents, which I must admit was no easy feat. But as praise-worthy as this concept is, it is getting old and boring. EVERYONE seems to be defaulting to giving up Facebook which really takes away from the sacrifice. Logically, if everyone gave up Facebook, then no one would be on Facebook and going on Facebook would be boring and pointless. Thats my justification for not giving up Facebook. Besides, how else would I make the world listen to me bitch about my life through my genius intellect that is this blog? Idea #1: shot down.

Idea #2: Meat

After years of giving up meat, I have learnt the art of getting around this whole meat issue. Its all daisies and ponies when you say you're giving up meat. But what does it mean really? Do you just not eat it everyday? Or only Fridays and Wednesdays? And what about those tofu nuggets? Or the ever controversial fish? (isn't fish meat too?). Its all too confusing. Plus, I couldn't give up meat. Where else would I get the energy to give up my sanity? It effs up the whole balance and so Idea#2: shot down.

Idea #3: Music
Last year I gave up listening to music for lent. I succeeded in keeping this up for the entirety of the 40 days but I had some pretty suicidal thoughts by the end of it. This year, giving up my ipod was in my top 5 picks but considering my work situation right now, I might as well swallow a cyanide pill. Idea #3: shot down due to the fact that suicide is in fact frowned upon by the Catholic Church...even it is done in the name of Lent.

Idea#4: Make-up
Why is this even on the list? This is joke. Idea # 4: shot down.

Idea #5: Starbucks Coffee

ditto. Although, does it mean I can still drink Timmy's? Tricky tricky. Idea #5: Surprisingly might work.

So these are pretty much what I came up with. I should hurry up and pick something although I still think I should be considered for some celestial tax cuts. What are you giving up this Lent? How about giving up watching T.V. or shopping at the mall or talking for hours on the phone and spending that time reading my blog and shamelessly promoting it instead? What? No? Bad idea? Well, I never...

Guess in the end it always comes down to the age-old toss up between meat and Facebook, huh?

Holiday Delights Part 2: Kuwait Starbucks vs. Toronto Starbucks

Due to the positive responses I got for my last blog post (thank you all, by the way) I have decided to change the name from Holiday Horrors to Holiday Delights...since it did nothing but cause laughter and delight. (I would hit the back space button and erase that horribly cheesy line from existence but the back space button on my parents’ ancient-of-days keyboard does not work properly. You know how it is)

After one week of being in Kuwait, I still haven’t fully gotten over the jetlag. But I have gone out for a run in the park, which is an interesting story for another blog post; and I have successfully gotten through the first batch of Goan festivities with grace and aplomb. Don’t roll your eyes at me.

I spend my days eating and sleeping and spend my nights with my new best friend, Gravol. I have also challenged myself to watch every single episode of the Office. However, this has made me really miss going to work. And I say that with no sarcasm.

As everyone knows, I developed a new obsession with Starbucks some months ago so my dad took me to Starbucks the other day, a trip that I have been waiting for too long. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Kuwait Starbucks had adopted the Christmassy holiday cups! Score board: Kuwait Starbucks = 1, Toronto Starbucks= 0

This is the part that gets interesting though. Sit down for this:
So I scan the price list. Do you know how much a tall coffee in Kuwait Starbucks cost? $3.00.
Three effing bucks! (I did all the currency conversions for you. You’re welcome.) Now you can go to your local Starbucks and pay $1.79 for premium coffee with a big smile on your face, knowing that there are some poor schumck countries out there in the world that Starbucks rips off more than you. Score board: K.S.= 1, T.S.= 5
Anyway, I go to the cashier.
Karen: “ two tall coffees please”
Starbucks woman: “ Tall? You mean big?”
Big? WTH? I leave for a week and they change sizes on me?
Karen: “emm no, tall”
Starbucks woman: *looks kindly at me* “You mean large?”
Her kind look kind of scares me because I know that it is not in the Starbucks employee policy to have patience or look kindly upon customers who are confused about Starbucks cup sizes.
It then hits me. This woman has no idea what Starbucks cup sizes are. To her, it’s still a world of small medium, large...like it should be. There is no Tall, Grande or Venti.

I get exasperated. “No I mean tall. Tall. Your smallest size”
Starbucks woman: “Oh you want a small coffee!”
Seriously?
Starbucks barista man: “Would you like it with milk?”
I stare at him in dumb confusion. Don’t you do that part yourself?
Somewhere a Starbucks CEO must be cringing. Actually, all over the world, there are Starbucks employees cringing.

Karen: “No. Just give me a tall black coffee”
Starbucks man: “Are you absolutely sure you want it without milk?”
I don’t say anything.
“Yes” I hear my dad say. “Please just give us two black coffees”
I get my coffee and it comes with milk.
Score board: K.S. = -27, T.S.= 27
That was the end of my long awaited Kuwait Starbucks trip.

You know I learnt something from this. I realised that I must have come off as rude and frustrated with the cashier. But then I thought of the times when the Toronto Starbucks guy patronizingly corrected me when I ordered a large instead of a grande and that time when that SAME Starbucks loser guy looked at me like I was a crazy cat lady on crack when I asked him what a caramel macchiato was.

So I will give Kuwait Starbucks 27 points for balancing out karma and for once making Starbucks look like the fool instead of the customer.
The score as it stands: Kuwait Starbucks= 30 points. Toronto Starbucks = 29 points.

I gave Toronto Starbucks 2 extra points for being nearly 2 and half times cheaper.
However, Kuwait Starbucks still wins because I gave them 3 extra points for being so expensive and thus making me virtually guilt free for drinking Starbucks coffee on a regular basis.
And this pretty much is the most exciting thing that has happened in Kuwait so far.

Congratulations Kuwait Starbucks! For winning at sucking...and for yet another blog post about absolutely nothing.

Walking the Downward Dog

For many of us, weekends are what we live and work for. And I'm not ashamed to say, I'm one of them. I struggle through my work week. By Wednesday morning, I'm ready to sell my soul just for an extra hour under my warm sheets. But being pushed into the work force has taught me a thing or two about waking up, dressing up and showing up. It does not matter whether its summer, winter, spring or fall. Waking up at 5:30am is never pleasant. Neither is working for 10 hours straight. But we do it. And I believe its essential that you love what you do. If you dont, then you learn how.
And after just crowning myself Queen of Mastering Merry Mornings two seconds ago, here are 5 things that have made some of my toughest weeks lately bearable and dare I say enjoyable. They might work for you. But if they don't, I hope you find just 5 things that will give you a little touch of happy to whatever it is that makes your day so exhausting.

Here are my 5 happys for 5 crappys:

1. Starbucks Coffee: I will start with one of the first things that inspired this blog. My Monday morning pit stop is always joyness in a grande cup. When I say joyness, I mean energy to bring one foot in front of the other in succession and keeping walking. I get there at exactly 6:43 every Monday morning (and any other morning that requires extra ammo).One of the Starbucks guys always jokes in the morning. "You know, its not too late to go back to bed". No its never too late. But I'll be damned if taking the first three sips of this crap makes me excited about my Monday.

And I have learnt to drown out the voices of reason about Starbucks being soooooo expensive. If you work 10 hours a day and have to deal with crazy lunatics all day, then I think you're entitled to a $1.79 cup of decent coffee.

2. Prayer: Its Monday morning. You start to remember phone calls you didn't make and forms you didn't fax on Friday because you were too damn lazy and anxious to get the hell out of the office. You hope to God your boss does not ask you about what you did not do on Friday. Because trust me, with your luck, she will ONLY ask about things you didn't do.
Yes, I hope to God my momentary Friday laziness does not bite me in the ass on Monday morning. While most people do not believe in religion, or God or a high power, or whatever other name you want to give God, I can tell you from personal experience, nothing else calms me down like a heart to heart with the Big Guy in the morning.

3. Battle Studies: I highly recommend listening to John Mayer's new ablum "Battle Studies". All of the songs on this album are amazing and along with Paolo Nutini and Jason Mraz, John Mayer has been my staple morning commute companion.

The first time I listened to this album, I unconciously closed my eyes in bliss. And this was at 6:50am, before I even had a chance to sip my coffee. Mix Mr. Mayer with Starbucks and you just made your own day.

4. Paul Galloro: Paul is my fabulously flamboyant yoga/pilates instructor. I wait all week for Thursday. The moment my bus hits Finch Station at 7:10pm, I run homebound, change and grab my yoga mat. I decided to try Paul's BodyFlow class on a whim and after an hour, it felt like I was given the most relaxing massage.

Mind you, the class is ridiculously intense. Paul maybe a super nice guy but he makes you contort your body into painfully unnatural positions. Too many downward dogs make you end up wishing Paul would just die a slow and painful death.

But boy.... what a great end to a stressful week!

5. Co-Workers: Whether you realise it or not, your co-workers either make or break your week.

And I don't know about you, but I'd rather them make my week. And from working for the last 6 months, I have learnt that we make our work lighter my making others' work lighter.

I love my co-workers, I hate my co-workers, I laugh with them, I bitch about them, they drive me crazy, I drive them crazy. But at the end of the day, the five of us are all in this together, and despite our differences, I'm grateful that there's a mutual understanding of that.

And so, those are my fave five. What are yours? Do you suffer from crazy work/school/study weeks? What makes your day? My suggestion is figure that out and inject it into your crappy weekday. Because no one else knows what makes you happy better than you do! Your day will still probably be far from perfect, but we do what we can, right?

So here's hoping you have a happy weekend...and an even happier week ahead!

Verdict: Addiction

Contrary to the title of this blog and the numerous references to Starbucks, I actually don't drink that stuff too often. Twice a week at the most...and even then, the second was probably beacuse I was having a super bad day (read: Wackjob Wednesdays)

But Monday mornings, by general rule is Starbucks day. If there is any day where you need a pickmeup, I can't think of anything better than the begining of your inevitably crappy work week. This Monday was no exception. However, this morning was the epitome of risky...all for that vile cup of caffeine.

For those of you who don't know me (well), I'm not much of a risk taker. I consider jay walking living on the edge. Kiddy rollercoasters almost make me vomit. You get the idea. Today though, I engaged in some riske happenings. I woke up on time. But I procrastinated like a college kid on facebook the night before an essay deadline (I speak from experience). So here was the timeline:

6:30am: Ready to leave home

6:31am: Couldnt find my keys. Found them a minute later. They were in my hands.

6:35am: Couldnt find one sock. Cursed a little. Found it in my roomates boot.

6:41am: Out the door running, jay walking on all the streets in my way. I'm so bad.

6:44am: I reach Starbuck, pay for my poison. I then proceed to lid up and jet. It is then that I realise that some FOOL switched all the lids. I couldnt find a single lid for my tall cup of joe.

6:52am: I reach Finch Station, half running trying not to spill when some nice old lady held the door open for me!!!

I'm supposed to be opening doors for nice old ladies!!! What just went wrong with the world?? I got over it 2 seconds later though. Its 6:55 on a monday morning! We're all in this together! We all open doors for each other! God bless us all!

6:57am: I think I have a heart attack while power walking to catch my 6:55am bus. I make it just as he is about to pull away. I almost cry and mentally scold myself for almost missing my bus.... or worse still spilling my coffee.

The real icing on the cake was when I got into the bus, EVERYONE had a Timmy's coffee in their hand. I took my usual seat embarrassed. I was a Starbucks girl who almost had heart failiure on a Tim Horton's bus. If I just bought myself a nice humble cup of Timmy's, none of this would have happened.

The question is, would I do this crazy nonsense again? The answer is what made me believe that I was barely a few weeks away from crossing over to the land of Starbucks junkies.

Well, at least theres coffee on the other side.