77 Politics

Obey the rules of the road or else...

It has been 8 months now since I have been taking the York Regional Transit #77. Although, the YRT service is nothing great to write home about, I have to say this giant beast of metallic junk is the only means of connecting me to my source of income. I will not bore you to a temporary comatose, but I've had my fair share of drama including been pushed around, snarled at (yes, snarled), my stuff picked up and thrown on me and having drivers heartlessly drive away while I helplessly watch from across the street waiting for the pedestrian crossing.

Although 8 months of daily commuting hardly earns me any street cred points, I have made some curious observations and tricks to dealing with the joyness that is taking the bus.

1) It can be safetly assumed that in Toronto and the GTA, no one has the desire to sit next to you or talk to you or anyone else on a mode of public transit. There are a wide array of activities that the average Torontonian would rather do than sit beside you, much less speak to you. Some examples of these activities include plugging their ears into their iPods, picking their nose, testing every single one of their cellphone ringtones, and staring aimlessly outside the window. Some exceptions to this rule are if you're exceptionally good looking, or if they're a Jehovah's Witness.

2) In the unfortunate event that you are sitting next to someone who has bad breath, is crazy or a nasty combination of both, you may do any of the above listed activities of the unfriendly Torontonian commuter. If you're not into that you may use some common phrases that are useful such as: "No, I don't want to tell you where I live. Would you like a mint instead?" or "No, I'm not interested in reading the Book of Mormon. Would you like a mint instead?". My personal favorite is to just pretend you're dead.

3) In the event of a rare treat that a hot guy gets on the bus, please close your mouth and try to be discreet with the stare. Remember that creepy old geezer with bad breath who tried to ask you where you live and then tried to convert you to a Jehovah's Witness and wouldn't take dead for an answer? You're not him, but oogling is the first step towards it.

4) Please offer your seat to an eldery man or woman. I understand that many people are jaded, 'hurt-before-by-bus-politics' commuters but good manners always go a long way. So does good karma.

5) The best way to have two seats to yourself (one for you and one for your purse/ego) is to sit on the aisle seat with your purse/ego dropped on the window seat. This is a concept that thrives on the fake politeness/ pushover-ness(I know that's not a word) of Torontonians. Most people would rather stand than ask you to move your shit so they can have a seat. Every so often though, you will have the non-pushover commuter who will sit on YOU if he can't find an empty seat. True story.

6) Don't have lengthy coversations with the driver about spending your weekend buying clothes for your dog. This will cause him to miss stops and piss the toffees off of a bus load of cranky people. True story again.

7) If you got delayed at Starbucks because the lunatic in front of you decided to pay for her coffee in pennies, it's not a good idea to run like a cat on hot bricks with scalding coffee to catch your bus. This will cause your clothes to consume more coffee than you do, you will reek of coffee and you will look like an idiot. Accept defeat with dignity and an intact coffee cup.

8) It is perfectly okay to smile and make small talk with your everyday fellow commuters. In fact, make an effort to do so. However, one can draw the line when the over-friendly bus idiot moves your stuff around and cockblocks you from the bus cutie.

9) Find things that will make your long morning commutes enjoyable. Personally, I like to read, listen to music, talk to God, do the crossword and twidle my thumbs. In really hectic times, if you really can't find anything to keep you occupied, stare at a picture of Jake Gyllenhal.

10) Try to thank your driver after you have arrived at your destination. Unless you've been in a terrible accident, in which case, thank God you're not in the hospital busy being a vegetable.

And that folks is my 2 cents on the public transit. You may pay an additional $2.98 to experience it for yourself.

Do I look fat in that shirt?

Summer is officially in! As are my earth-shattering inspirations to blog. Better recognised as the end of my shameless laziness.

Today was so hot that even a desert girl like me will admit that air conditioning wouldn't have been the worst idea. With all the fabulous things that come with summer (read: fun, flip flops, freezies and fudge icecream), I been scouring the stores for some sassy summer shirts and skirts.Vintage is my new favorite flavour of the season. Tout Toronto will soon be tooting with posts about my escapades to find the perfect vintage finds. Soon as I manage to get off my lazy ass and tout away that is.
Anyway, the very reliable Torontonian weather forecasters have prediced a hot summer this year and with that segway, I will get on with the actual point of this post. Some old trends with a new twist for a hot summer. All of these reflect my own personal style and opinion. I am not a fashion guru. Please do not send me angry emails and crazed wall pasts on facebook telling me of how you wore your grandma's 70's flower-power-polka-dotted, obnoxiously large shoulder-padded blouse with a bedsheet-like hippie skirt you rescued from Kensington Market to a hot date who ran away from you with fear and trembling (and lets face it, a little awe) at the sight of you. If you do however, send me a photo and I will post it on my what-not-to-wear segment. Just kidding. I'm sure you looked lovely. That been said, here are a few trends that having been catching my fancy lately.

Shoulder pads: I know what you're thinking. You don't want to wear your mother's 80's power shirts while trying to flirt with that hottie in the ice-cream aisle. Understandable and even sensible. I do however, truly believe there is a way of dressing up shoulder padded garbs without becoming your mother. For example, a shoulder padded blazer. Granted, blazers are not the best idea for 28 degree C weather. Neither are they the best idea for bigger girls who have no need of a cure for droopy shoulders. But they're hot. As in trendy. And not as in emitting heat rays.
For example:
As cool as this looks, please do not wear this unless you are a runway model, have an overflowing cup of confidence and cool, a meatless petite Korean girl, or Rhianna

If you are one of the above four, I'm already jealous that you can rock that without looking like an idiot.




Scarves: Scarves are not new fashion discoveries. They are ageless. However, I newly discovered the genius of scarves when I bought one for a dollar at some random scarf stand on the street. Scarves are an inexpensive way (I say inexpensive only if you do not buy your scarves at Prada) to brighten up one of those bland colour shirts you bought at Bluenotes on sale for $5.00. Vintage stores have tons of these, and if you're willing to shop around, you will find some beautiful scarves for even less. Once again, scarves in the sweltering heat, not the greatest idea. But they are oh so pretty...and perfect for those summer days at work.

Patterns and polka dots: I love patterned blouses. Although, I've been told patterns are not for everybody and their grandmother. Or maybe they're just for their grandmother. But to me, nothing welcomes in the season of sunshine like a summery cotton print. As for polka dots, they've always been in style whether you would like to admit it or not. Use discretion with this one though. If prints scare you, try testing out pieces that are not overwhelmingly patterny. However, if prints, patterns or polka dots are really not your glass of iced tea, move on to the purses.

Vintage purses: I have nothing more to say. Its a purse. You should invest in them whether vintage or otherwise.

Vintage shopping is a bit of a pain in the butt. (Literally, all that walking takes its toll) It's a lot of searching and bargaining. Not to mention, you're not always lucky to find stuff in your size, appropriateness of shoulder pad size and design. But those are the best parts too. Hours of walking looking for that perfect scarf to go with a perfect shoulder padded blazer to be rewarded with a bargain deal of a fabulous purse instead. Or bear with me here...actually having your mind opened up to possibilties of wearing something or at least trying out something you wouldn't normally wear. That's the amazing thing about bargain shopping. Its the thrill of finding cute little shirts and trying to create outfits in your head that makes vintage shopping the flavor of the summer. So go ahead. Shop. Create. And have fun putting together cool outfits this summer.

Also, I would like to add: Combining all of your outfits created by your artistic genius with a cute pair of flats and a tall green tea ice tea from Starbucks is optional. (although very much recommended.)

Happy Shopping! And stay tuned to Tout Toronto for some cool vintage stores I discovered!